How to talk to your friends/relatives during a bear market.

Greetings, here are some tried and proven methods on how to talk to people in your life who know you are holding crypto during a bear market.

1. Feign ignorance.

Scenario: In a facetime call with your father and he asks you how "that bitmoney of yours is doing".

Response: "Bitmoney? Haha (fake laughter) you mean bitcoin dad. I was just joking about getting into it. What is it even?"

2. Lie

Scenario: Your mother texts you asking what you did with Grandpa's inheritance.

Response: "Oh (stalling language to give you more time to assemble your thoughts), I put it into a high-yield savings account. Why? Will you be needing it in about 9-10 months time?"

3. Redirect

Scenario: You leave your desk for a cup of coffee and your co-worker shouts "Hey! It's Mr. Funny-Money!"

Response: "Hey! It's Mr. Give-his-wife-a-black-eye-so-she-leaves-with-the-kids!"

4. Run

Scenario: Your wife is asking what happened to the money for the trip to Italy you were saving up for anniversary.

Response: "Hang on I need to take a piss (do not go to the bathroom, but instead leave the house and run to a neighboring city and register under a new identity)".

5. Hide

Scenario: Your brother-in-law has tracked you down under your new identity of "Janice Maria Juan Hernandez" a trans-sexual erotic dancer, and phones you on your cell-phone.

Response: Do not pick up.

6. Gas-light

Scenario: Your boss is concerned about you because she noticed you stopped talking about cryptocurrency even though you were raving all about it throughout 2021.

Response: "What? You were the one telling me about it. Don't you remember 'HODL, HODL' and 'to the moon!'? You were saying it all the time! (surreptitiously place your 'No sell 'til LAMBO' mug on her desk) Look! Remember parading this around last summer?"

7. Talk sense

Scenario: Some drunk walks up to you on the street and says "Cryptocurrencies are a fucking fraud man! I put all my savings into them and lost everything!"

Response: "Listen you degenerate urchin (clinch to deflect his attack), a bear market is a natural process of any economic environment (duck a punch). If you can't handle the bear and hold, you don't deserve the bull's gold (parry his knife with your child)."

8. Admit that maybe you are over-leveraged and that ultimately your life is more important than money.

Scenario: The police are speaking to you over a loudspeaker as you stand on the rooftop of your 12 floor office building.

Response: "I'll come down for a crunch wrap supreme, chicken quesadilla, loaded fries, and a case of beer. NO CILANTRO. I SWEAR I'LL JUMP IF YOU SCREW THIS UP."

With these steps in mind, hopefully you can stall long enough until your portfolio recovers and you can face your friends/relatives/parole officers with a straight face again.

Edit: fixed some spelling.